Not feeling so strong today

Half term.. well not even half term, its 17.26 and I am certainly not feeling as strong today. Its a Friday, this doesn't help, its I feel sad to think that I can never have that glass of wine to unwind. I have been working today,well this morning and my uncle and aunt came up to visit in the afternoon. After they left I went to take the spaniels for a walk and this kind of sadness descended on me. I don't know why, but it did, maybe I think it is because I wished so much that my uncle and my aunt were my mum and dad and I didn't end up with the mum and dad that I do have,,,, sadness for the lack of family I have just the kids and Neil. Anyway have been in a funny mood ever since. The kids are out playing and you know that feeling where you feel you are never good enough ? I don't make enough effort around the kids, I need to take them out more, do more things with them. I do know that one of my triggers is being hungry and so every night this week I have made sure I have tea. It generally works and so this is what I have done. Now, science tells me that a craving only lasts 10 minutes so I am going to go and do something nice, either read my book, or meditate, or go in the hot tub, maybe even play a board game with the kids. Yes that's what I will do, we can play a game, that way I won't feel like a shit mum as I will feel like I have done something with them. I think its all about distracting yourself isn't it..............

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