I thought I would come on today and just tell you about my toolbox of tools that I am using in my recovery. I have just come back from a dog walk with the 5 dogs. I left the 3 kids at home which is now going to become the norm as I have decided that I absolutely cannot control what they touch and I am genuinly scared, the thought of one of them getting this virus terrifies me. I am sat in the garden now with my chrome book. The kids are playing nicely in the garden. The birds are out, I can see my fish tank and the dogs have been walked so they are happy. Its crazy to think that the world is fighting this silent killer and yet to look around everything in nature is flourishing.
While walking the dogs I have taken to listening to a podcast called The Bubble Hour. Its hosted by a fantastic lady called I think its Jean and she owns a blog called unpickled. Its a fantastic blog and its where she tells her story of recovery. I think she has just celebrated her 9th year! On the bubble hour she interviews other people from all over the globe, I think mainly women and who are in recovery. These interviews and this blog is amazing and I find I so enjoy my time wandering around the fields by where I live and lisening to them. While listening of course, her interveiwees will also talk about what they use for their recovery and perhaps blogs they listen to or books they have read and so your tool box is bought and the first set of tools are added. Some of these chats are so inspiring. I listened to one today from a lady called Barry. The last 15 minutes of the blog almost had me in tears it was so inspiring, that woman had been through such a hard time yet she has recovered and is so so happy and confident and happy in her own skin. You could actually hear it in her voice. There are all kinds of help on there from learning to live in the moment (which we know I have trouble with) to dealing with recovery especially now in these times. Its quite funny how the Government decided that offlicenses could remain open as they were deemed essential items. Thats nuts. Essential items? Alcohol? It made me think. Alcohol is so deeply engrained into our society, its absolutely part of our every day, we can't escape it ever, if it isnt on the TV in our soaps or on adverts, its in magazines, books, on the news, restaurants, cafe's. Even now the popular feeling is mummy needs a drink after spending the day with the kids ! Its crazy. What I have learnt from reading the quit lit is that the alcohol industry makes the government a shit load of money. Of course they want it to remain open as an essential item. I am absolutely determined not to crack during this time and I am going to use whatever in my toolbox I can.
I am considering making facebook page 'Just a Sober Welsh Mum' and linking this page to it, but of course that is a massive step and I am not sure if I am getting a bit ahead of myself. I am still really nervious about my videos on facebook and whether I am getting on everyone's nerves. The thing is the last thing you want is someone shoving their new found sobtriety in people's faces. No one wants that. Its now a life style choice for me and one that I am going to find very hard at times, but one that is hopefully going to make me a better person. My long term goal is to always be the absolute best version of me. All the time, and I still have such a long way to go. However that is my dream. I want to make the most of absolutely every second I am on this earth, I want to be the best, mum, nan, friend, wife, sister that I can be. I want to enjoy every bit of my life and I want to feel everything even if its hard at times, I don't want to numb it with alcohol. I want to beat my anxiety and I want to achieve something and if my blog or my facebook page or my post helps anyone then thats surely a good thing. Anyway I will ponder the page for a bit. I am going to check out a few other blogs that were mentioned and if I think they are good I will put them on my site for other people to look at. I would definately recommend the Bubble Hour and also unpicked they are one of my best tools.