Day 2 of Lockdown and 48 days no alcohol

We seem to be settling into a routine. I have found it works well if I get the kids out and about in the garden and in the hot tub for hours. They are then much more content to do some school work for an hour after tea. The weather is glorious so that helps. I am worried about next week and the week after as I am due to send out invoices to parents for a job that I can't do. I did look at the universal credit application which is something I have never had to do but it says that if one partner is still working then I won't be able to claim. Listening to the 6 O'Clock news tonight though there have been so many applications that they have been overwhelmed anyway. On the plus side we are getting money back from our solar panels so that will help. Trying to give up caffeine as well at the moment and have been drinking decaffeinated coffee. Its okay but I have a headache today. Cant seem to get through the day without having a sleep either.

Ailysha learnt to ride her balance bike today and we all went to factory lane with the dogs. It was a long walk I would say almost 2 hours but she managed the whole thing without any moaning and fair play Rebecca was really good with her. They are both on their iPads now at the moment talking to their friends.

Watching the news tonight, if people adhere to this social distancing which everyone I saw today seems to be doing, then they think the virus will peak in 2 to 3 weeks. I read somewhere that Boris Johnson is hoping to release some of the curfews etc by April 12th. Am highly optimistic about this but it would be brilliant if it did happen. Neil is flat out in work delivering orders etc he said he has about 25 at the minute. He will be working late again tonight. Its okay though. The Coop hours have changed as have many of the supermarkets who are now closing by 10 in the nights. Thankfully Natasha is on a different ward during the week with her placement. She will be on the corona virus ward though Saturday night.

Having some cravings for a nice glass of wine especially at this time (7pm) just need to continue to think of something else to try and distract myself. Almost got to 50 days. I must keep reminding myself that I could relapse at any time and I really don't want to do that. I did 128 days last year and within 3 weeks of starting drinking again I was worse than ever before so I need to make sure that that doesn't happen. I often think of Clare Pooley's analogy in her book about the two fields next door to each other with the obstacle course in the middle. The one where the obstacle course represents the days you have without wine. Obviously the things at the beginning of the course are very hard as the cravings are really hard, then they get a bit easier with some hard ones in the middle. I have to complete this obstacle course. I think I have done the hard ones in the beginning so as long as I don't go back to day 1 I don't have to do them again. However I am in the next stage where I have some hard ones and some easy ones. Obviously, during this corona virus outbreak anxiety can be high and the cravings are high but as long as I refocus my brain I am hoping I will be okay and get to that other field. Eventually.

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