A lesson learnt

Not sure if anyone will want to read this so I am not putting it on facebook as I think I am writing it as a kind of therapy. Alcohol has always been such a major thing in my life. There are a number of reasons I have given up and one of them being I was worried about the hold that glass of wine had on me but I had other reasons, personal reasons. First hand I have seen what it can do to someone you love and sadly unfortunately I have seen what it does to a few people that I have been close to. Its funny but since my slip up a few weeks ago, I have realised all my cravings have gone. All of them. I haven't had a single slip up and it just so happens that every couple of weeks, I have a reminder a good reminder of why I gave up and that has just happened.

I don't think I am a perfect person at all. I have many many faults I know this, but my intentions are always good. You know that feeling you have when you analyze your behaviour constantly over and over, that's what I am going through now. When you live with or know someone who has such a major problem with alcohol it wrecks your life, it makes you question who you are.

My other issue is trust. Trust is major. I trusted someone, someone who I looked up to and I have been let down, not surprisingly but still............ Sometimes you just feel tired don't you. You just feel sad and tired and deflated. Like you want to stay in bed and not get up. That's me today.

Am feeling sorry for myself I know but today I have gone 9 months 11 days 5 hours and 14 minutes with no alcohol and I have no intention of ever drinking it again and if I do, beforehand I will read this entry and remember how I feel right now.

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